Shira Gross fights cancer with wit, courage and a blog

Shira Gross

The daughter of Alan Gross, the American development worker arrested in Cuba one year ago this week, writes an inspirational blog about her battle with breast cancer.
Shira Gross, an advertising saleswoman in Manhattan, calls it Cancer for my 26th Birthday.
In her first post, dated Friday Aug. 13 and entitled "Big Birthday Surprise, to my Demise," she recounts an Aug. 2 phone call when a doctor reported on a lump found in her breast. She wrote:

"Well Shira, we did get the pathology report back and it did show some malignancy. You do have cancer."
I could barely talk and told her I'll call her back. My friend pulled over. I jumped out of the car on the the shoulder of the highway in the middle of nowhere. I put my my forehead to the group and started crying. I rolled over and looked up t the sky.
"Oh G-d, oh G-d, oh G-d, you want me to die? Is this your plan? Oh G-d." The passers by probably thought I was absolutely insane.
I called my mom who thought I was returning her happy birthday message. Before she could even say happy birthday, I abruptly said, "MomIhavecancer" in one breath.
I will refrain from sharing the rest with you, as its extremely morbid, and I'd rather my blog take a more whimsical tone (if cancer can be whimsical).
The rest of the car ride back may have been the worst 2 hours of my entire life. How bitter sweat to hear "Soulshine," play on my random mix of songs.
I returned to the city with a bunch of missed birthday calls, texts, facebook messages. Sorry if I did not respond.
This was my 26th birthday and I got cancer.

In the posts that follow, Gross gives a straightforward, unvarnished, touching and sometimes humorous account of her chemotherapy sessions, the loss of her hair, her struggle to return to work.
My impression is that Gross is educated and witty, strong and determined.
She thanks hospital workers, her friends, colleagues and her mother Judy Gross for their support.
But she concedes that it has been difficult to go through surgery and chemotherapy without her father, who has been held in Cuba without charges since Dec. 3, 2009.
Cuban authorities accuse Alan Gross of bringing illegal communication gear into Cuba as part of a U.S.-financed plan to undermine the socialist government.

Shira Gross doesn't write about the accusations, but she does mention her father.
On Labor Day she wrote a post called "A Solitary Recovery":

Its now been four days since my surgery and I have taken the bandage off, trying to get back to "normal life." Today is the quintessential American holiday and I wish I could celebrate as if nothing was wrong.

It has been almost a year since I've seen my Dad and I cannot even begin to believe how helpless he feels right now. I have heard from other cancer survivors that they were able to stay strong with the support of family. I really wish he was here to help me get through this - I have a long life to live and hope he can be a part of it.
I respectfully ask for his safe and speedy return...

In her blog posts, Gross shows creativity and flair. On Aug. 18, for instance, she wrote:

Dear Tumor,

Although you have been inside me for longer than I have known, and we've been going steady now for the last 16 days, I am going to end our relationship. You are very selfish and I know you have been cheating on me with my milk ducts.

Tonight will be our last night together. I hope you have not spread to other parts of my body, G-d for bid. You are not welcome in my breast or anywhere else. You must return to your home in a petrie dish. I know some pathologists who would love to admire your nature, size, and tendencies.

I told you from day one that if you harass me, I'll kill you!

Hate,
Shira

Shira Gross, left, with a younger sister (Nina, I believe).

Gross even sings about her ordeal. See video here.

 Judy Gross is at right, above

 

Gross also writes about how anxious she is to return to a "normal" life. On Aug. 25, she wrote:

I am a sales woman. I am a strong, creative, aggressive digital advertising account executive! When I wake up in the morning I get fired up for work. I will share a very embarrassing secret with you: When I get in the elevator at my Madison Avenue office, I turn up my ipod to the song "You're So Gangsta," by Chromeo. I listen to the song as I strut through the doors and walk to my desk. I guess I do weird things as part of my morning routine.

On Oct. 6, Gross described what it was like to return to her job:

I went to work today. This was the first day I applied make up and wore non pajama-like clothing. Chemo has changed my face. I have always had good skin, but today I felt very self-conscious looking in the mirror. Tough shit. I got some rock star glasses and I'm going to rock them like a rock star. No one will think "eww that girl has bad skin." Instead they will think "eww that girl is so obnoxious. I hate those people who wear sunglasses inside as if they have some superiority complex." I shall settle with the latter.

The toughest part of getting back to work is hearing the accomplishments of my colleagues and feeling the pressure to catch up. I must and I will. I felt extremely lethargic after just two hours. I thought to myself that I should leave. Then I spoke with a client who gave me all the "buying signals." My adrenaline rushed and I stayed late. I am excited to go back tomorrow and really step it up.
I certainly spent a few minutes a day crying in the bathroom, and I'm not embarrassed about it. It was the anticipation of the unknown that got to me. Daydreaming about chemo, about throwing up, about losing too much weight, about where the F am I going to find a great wig, what the F am I going to tell annoying people at work who patronize me. This, I believe, has passed. I know that I can get through chemo. I know that I may actually enjoy not having to wash, blow dry, and flat iron my hair in the winter. I know that if anyone at work makes an obnoxious comment, I can rise above because I sure as hell am stronger than the average person.

There are also some people in my office who have helped contribute to me feeling great about myself. Today a woman who I barely have any interaction with called me to her office. She told me that she heard what I was going through and read my blog and felt inspired. She cried (which made me cry) and said "I don't know if I'd be able to do what you're doing." This really lifted my spirits. It made me think that we as humans are unaware of our capabilities. It just goes to show that G-d only gives us things we can handle. Sometimes the encouragement from a stranger or someone I don't know well means the world to me.

So back at the office. There is a life outside of chemo. I'm excited to embrace it again.

Shira Gross is a fighter. I wish her a speedy recovery.
Link: American Cancer Society Making Strides Against Cancer page where Gross's supporters had raised - as of today - $1,579 to help pay her medical expenses.
Photo credit: Cancer for my 26th Birthday